Saturday, July 27th, 2019

What is Trauma?

What have you experienced that’s holding you back? In work? In life? In your relationships, friendships, family? Want to find out?

Definition of Trauma: an incident(s) that causes physical, emotional, spiritual, or psychological harm.

Most people don’t realize that trauma doesn’t need to be some big event. It can be a bunch of small things that add up over your lifetime or sometimes even just the situation that you’re in.

Here’s a few ideas just to get you thinking:

  • being a single child, youngest child, middle child, oldest child
  • a breakup
  • midlife crisis
  • losing a job
  • missing out on a promotion
  • being forced to move (ex. losing your apt/house)
  • family issues
  • trauma from childhood
  • relationship or friendship issues
  • parenting troubles
  • as well as much more serious issues which I won’t list here, because I don’t want to trigger anyone!

As you can see we’ve all been through a traumatic event in our lifetime, no one is immune to this… but how we handle the situation decides whether it becomes trauma or just another incident in our lives.

Here’s an exercise for trying to figure out what’s holding you back…

  • Write down all the defining events in your life, “good” and “bad” (that birthday you’ll never forget, the time you got bullied, the promotion you got, the day your kids were born, the accident you had, the time you were embarrassed, the times you’ve been joyful/angry/sad)
  • Then for each one, write out how you felt at that moment, what you were thinking, who was or wasn’t there. Be as detailed as possible.
  • Which one was your “Defining Day”? The one that brings out the most emotion for you? There’s a reason you still have such strong feelings about it!
  • Next look to see if there’s any commonalities between the events? It can really be anything, from a thought, to an emotion, or even a person. (For example when I looked into myself, I realized that the majority of my defining days were trauma related, sadness and anger were parts of my daily living for a long time… for a client, her thing was that she’s the middle child, so she’s always trying to please everyone and can feel neglected.)
  • Lastly, write how this event is effecting your life. How are you holding back or protecting yourself?

It can be difficult to see these things on our own… So, if you think that any of these types of events could be affecting your life and holding you back in your business, then we should definitely talk!

I’m here for you no matter how big or small the incident may have been, whether it’s one occurrence or multiple events over your lifetime, just remember that I’m always here to talk with you and support you!

Much love, Sarah

P.S. Something that I’m loving lately is Brene Brown’s book “I thought it was just me [but it wasn’t]”, where she talks about Shame and it’s effect on women specifically.